Caislen Campaign Notes

Chuck Norris left the real world's mortal plane on March 19, 2026, at age 86. He immediately transcended to godhood in this campaign setting.

• Greater deity of pure, unstoppable badassery.
• He belongs to no pantheon of deities. Instead he is his own unstoppable pantheon of one.
• Chuck Norris would defeat The Moose in a fight even with disadvantage.
• Alignment: “lawful chaotic awesome.”¹⁾
  • Alignment checks fail if look him in the eye.
• Divine Domains²⁾
  • War (obviously—master of every martial art, even the ones that haven't been invented yet)
  • Strength (or Forge/Tempest if you want to emphasize raw physical dominance)
  • Order (because rules bend to him, not the other way around)
  • Trickery (for all the impossible feats that defy reality and logic)
• Holy Symbol: A beard so majestic it has its own initiative roll.³⁾
• Core tenets for followers:
  • “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and roundhouse it.”
  • “Pain is temporary. Quitting is permanent. Chuck never quits.”
  • “If at first you don't succeed, roundhouse kick reality until it does.”
  • Never surrender. If Death comes knocking, answer with a spinning heel.
• Favored Weapon: Unarmed strikes (fists count as +3 magical vorpal weapons that crit on 19-20 against anything that has a face to punch).
• Temples are dojos where prayer involves sparring sessions, and holy water is replaced with “tears of Chuck Norris' enemies” (which cure cancer, obviously).
• Clerics of Chuck Norris must obviously be tanks.
  • Once per long rest Clerics of Chuck Norris may quote a Chuck Norris “fact”⁴⁾ and it becomes reality briefly.⁵⁾
• Rangers who worship Chuck Norris gain an extra 10 movement speed because they are Walkers.

In an interesting twist for the players of this campaign, this note is being left here to see if anyone reads it. Since the Alchemy Bottle spent some serious time in the possession of Eyrun, who has since perished, and was largely used to produce bath water during her tenure with it, and said bathwater belonging to none other than Chuck Norris… it is fair to assume that the god Chuck Norris would be rather perturbed to have small increments of his bath water stolen randomly, and at one point completely drained while The Party dealt with moisture hungry minions of the god Torralta. Therefor Chuck Norris must know who Eyrun was, and because he is in fact Chuck Norris he can do anything he wises awesomely even posthumously. In fact if Chuck wanted to resurrect someone dead 2000 years he could and he'd kick ass while doing it. While Eyrun is lost to life, this would not stop Chuck Norris from being her back if he wanted to roundhouse her for stealing bathwater or force her to atone for her bathwater stealing ways by becoming one of his worshipers instead. Anyway consider this note as an interesting plot twist if anyone ever wanted to make something of it… note that this also does not prevent the Dungeon Master from revisiting this idea for a special NPC, encounter, quest or strange plot in the future as well.