A The Card House special, this soup is tailored for people feeling like a “frail Victorian” & is guaranteed to restore 1d4 hit points… or at least make you feel dramatically improved while reclining on a chaise lounge.

(serves one)

• 1 pint of watered-down chicken stock (harvested from a particularly elderly rooster who retired peacefully)
• A single carrot, thinly sliced into elegant wafers (for that touch of color on your pallid cheeks)
• 3 sprigs of wilted parsley (gathered from the tavern's herb garden, which is mostly weeds)
• A dash of elf tears (substitute: cheap salt, for authenticity)
• One pinch of powdered unicorn horn, ground beholder eyestalk, or ground dragon tooth¹⁾.
• 1 pinch black pepper.
• Optional: A single crouton shaped like a fainting couch

1. Simmer the stock over a low flame for three hours, or until it achieves the consistency of weak tea—perfect for a constitution as delicate as fine china.
2. Add vegetables and herbs; stir clockwise.
3. Infuse with “magical” element while muttering dramatic sighs about the vapors.
4. Serve piping hot, with a side of crusty bread for sopping up your woes.
5. Consume while draped in a blanket, complaining about the draft.
6. Roll 1d4 and gain that many hit points back.

• Side effects may include theatrical coughing fits or sudden urges to write poetry about tuberculosis.
• Tavern may run out of ingredients and demand player characters do quests to find more.
• Limited quantities of soup are made on a whenever the tavern staff feels like it basis.
• Not considered a cure for hangovers, as learned many times over by Skip.